Can Dads Be Moms? : A Conversation with Young Adults, Pt. 1

By Julie Roys

Is it okay for moms and dads to switch roles? That’s a question a twenty-something man asked me after a talk I recently gave on misogyny and feminism to a young adult group at Alpine Chapel in suburban Chicago. It’s a fair question, especially in a culture where feminists espouse that all sex roles are socially constructed, and the LGBTQ community alleges that even sex itself is constructed. As Christians, what should we think about sex roles, gender, and sexuality? As I argue in this clip, God has stamped the answers right on our bodies.


Well, I’m trying to think if there’s any stay-at-home dads in Scripture. I can’t think of any. (laughs) Um, but I think that question actually gets at something much deeper. And this is, this is why I call myself a sacramentalist. A sacrament is just a physical symbol that reveals a spiritual or deeper reality. And our bodies are important..

We live in a culture that says our bodies mean absolutely nothing, right? You can have a male body, but if you feel you’re a female, then you can become a female, right? There’s no difference. There’s no difference between male and female, so if you want to switch roles — if a mother… You know, if a father wants to be a mother, a mother wants to be a father, they can do that and there’s nothing to that.

That’s actually rooted — I’m going to make this somewhat philosophical. But that’s rooted, that whole idea, if you trace it back, you can trace it back to a 2nd Century philosophy called Gnosticism. And essentially, what the Gnostics believed was that the physical world was bad and deceptive. And in fact, they have an entire creation narrative because God couldn’t have created the physical realm because the physical is all bad. So God has to be a little bit bad, right? So God has a son. His son is evil. And His son creates the physical world. 

And so we’re kind of trapped inside our bodies. But each of us have this divine spark inside of us. What does this sound like? Each of us has this divine spark inside of us. And salvation comes from discovering your true self, which may be completely at odds with your body that may be deceiving you. Alright? It’s the transgender movement right there. It’s all Gnosticism. 

The church, I mean, even if you look at the Nicene Creed — some of these early creeds of the church were actually written, in part, to combat Gnosticism. The Gnostics denied the incarnation of Christ because how could God become human? How could He take on an evil body? So they would deny that. It was a heresy of the church. 

Christians have never, ever accepted Gnosticism. Christians have always understood that the body is important and it speaks something. It says something. It’s a walking theology. It shows us something about God. If you want to know something about the nature of what it means to be a man, look at your body. Look at your body. It tells you something. If you want to know something about the nature of what it means to be a woman. What’s the essence of femininity? Receiving. It’s what our body does. And so our bodies are important.

If you want to know if men can be equally mothers, look at your body. Can you nurse?  You know, now we know — science is telling us all sorts of things. We know now that when a woman nurses a child, when you have that skin-to-skin contact, that this oxytocin is released. And there’s this incredible bonding that happens with a child when a mother breast-feeds her child. A man can’t do that. A man doesn’t carry a child for nine months.

And I’m going to say something that may be very offensive to our culture. But I think it’s incredibly offensive for men to think that they can do what I can do as a mother. (applause) I don’t think men can do it. I was made to be a mother. You were made to be a father. I can’t be a father and you can’t be a mother. And it’s about time that we just embrace what God has made us, instead of fighting it. And our culture is going insane. It’s going nuts. And it’s rejecting — it’s rejecting the very common sense realities that are right in front of us.


I discuss these issues further in “Redeeming the Feminine Soul: God’s Surprising Vision for Womanhood.” Order now! Still 1/3 off list  price!



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10 thoughts on “Can Dads Be Moms? : A Conversation with Young Adults, Pt. 1”

  1. Thanks for answering your call to Ministry. Your Wisdom is so needed in our confused-secular culture today.

  2. Well said, as usual Julie, and so much like so many of the accounts in the Old Testament, where God Himself spoke to the people through HIS prophets- but the people chose to not heed what HE told them.

    I have, at times, felt like how I imagine some of those prophets must have felt, when their speaking God’s words was rejected, ridiculed, and ‘dangerous’. But they persevered, as we must, and can’t not do, because of Christ in us.

    What’s really sad is- was- when God told Jeremiah (us?) to not even pray for those people, because I, God, will not listen.

    We who have personally experienced God’s Mercy and Grace through HIS Son, our Lord and Savior, can’t help ourselves- we must continue to simply witness what we know to be true.

    I suppose, as Jesus tells us, about how things will be, how things and how people will get to be- we shouldn’t be surprised. I know myself, I have felt moved to simply sit and weep with Jesus at times. I didn’t understand the incredible sadness that would come over me at first.

    All of what’s happening makes each of our personal relationship with Jesus so incredibly precious, so very important, for our own ‘sanity’ and for dealing with everything the world is throwing at us- believers and non-believers both. Just as a parent on an airplane is told to put their oxygen mask on before putting one on their child- so too, we must make sure that we put on Jesus, before we take on the world- each day.

    So many outrageous questions and statements from the world anymore, but what’s even more troubling, is the many people who are making it their own mission in their life, to “prove” to any, and as many, fools, that yes, a man can do whatever a woman can do, and vice versa- totally ignoring and/or rejecting obvious truths and facts.

    I would not be surprised at all, to hear of some ‘representative of the people’, a politician, introduce legislation making floods and tornados illegal.
    Nor would it surprise me to hear the media report, with glee, of all the people who would support such legislation, and go on and on and on about it, rather than do something that might possibly help make someone’s life better.

    Can a Dad be a Mom? Can pigs fly?
    Not that the world would accept this, but perhaps the question should be:
    Should pigs fly? No- end of discussion.
    Should Dads be Moms? No- end of discussion.

    Keep up the good fight Sister.
    Later and God bless.

  3. Hmmm!

    Endeavoring to expose the truth concerning MBI receives lots of comments. Speaking the truth concerning males and females and motherhood receives fewer than a handful of comment and all affirmative.

    I wonder why.

    1. Susan Vonder Heide

      Perhaps it is because the Evangelical world tends to affirm gender differences (sometimes even overemphasizing them) but too often neglects to question leaders if they are self-confident and well connected so doing so is news.

  4. But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'” (Rom 9:20). I pity those who fall for feministic ideology and shake their fists at God. How tragic it will be to face the Lord on the appointed Day, and try to defend this position. The Lord is merciful, and willing to forgive. We must repent while we can. Julie; I like your topics and your courage.

  5. Susan Vonder Heide

    The thing about the word “feminist” is that it is defined in different ways by different people. For many the term simply means affirming the full humanity of women. Unfortunately there are also many for whom it means unbiblical and nutty notions popular on too many college campuses today.

  6. Susan Vonder Heide

    I prefer when God does the affirming too such as in biblical passages like “…in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them.”

  7. Indeed; very different, each possessing innate virtue and talents, while equally valued. We should celebrate our differences rather than pretend they don’t exist.

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