(Opinion) When I was in high school, and still underage, my health teacher tried to seduce me. Right there in class, in the normal chaos between bells, he rubbed my legs and whispered an invitation in my ear.
I thought it was hilarious and gross. A typical teenager who felt more grown-up than I was, I never reported it to the school or to authorities. In the culture I grew up in, I was made well aware of what we then called “dirty old men.” I shrugged it off.
Some years later, when I better understood the gravity of such abusive behavior, I wrote about the experience in an essay published by my local newspaper. I didn’t name the teacher or my large suburban public school, but a diligent school board member read my essay, did a little digging to find out which school it was and called me to ask the name of the teacher.
I gave the teacher’s name, but by then he was retired — or dead, I don’t remember — so there was not much that could be done. (The school board member had actually suspected a different teacher, which was sobering.)
But that call has always stood out to me as I look back and reflect on all I’ve learned about sexual grooming, abuse and institutional responses. They were doing due diligence, even if it was many years later.
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Such diligence has proved to be too rare in my experience within church institutions. Instead, Christian leaders have ignored or covered up abuse.
My own grooming experience happened in the 1980s. The school board member who reached out so promptly after I wrote my essay did so in the 1990s. We have learned so much more about prevention, care and accountability since then.
I say this because I give grace to those of us on a learning curve — I certainly have been on one. I have since learned much more about the dynamics of sexual abuse, including abusive behaviors by those in authority over both minors and adults, including adult clergy sexual abuse.
But we must demand accountability for those leaders who have been notified of abuse allegations, only to rationalize, cover up and even deny them. It’s one thing not to know; it’s another thing to do nothing over and over again.
The instances of those who do nothing in the church are legion. You can Google the headlines yourself, but I can offer experiences of others — not my own to share in details, but witnessed from my own front-row seat.
My husband and I attended and served in a church for years before we learned one of its ministers was a convicted child sex offender, something all of the pastoral staff had known but kept from the congregation.
I also know by name an entire team of pastors and ministry leaders who paid off a serial predator who groomed and abused more than one young woman working for him. The leadership team “removed” the predator by placing him in a job in a connected ministry, then hired him back to his previous job a few years later. This man continues to be employed, lauded and sought in Christian institutions today.
I sat in a meeting with a pastor alongside a survivor of an alleged brutal sexual assault that was documented by multiple authorities, leaders, and institutions. All the survivor wanted was a voice in a publicly announced process to bring about accountability and reasonable changes to offer more protection of those in the care of that institution. This survivor was promised that voice, but the promise was never fulfilled.
Long before this meeting, I shared with a different pastor a number of red flags surrounding an executive leader who was later exposed for being involved in a sex scandal so salacious that the case continues to make headlines.
I know pastors who stood by fellow pastors caught preying on and abusing parishioners, but did little or nothing to support the women preyed upon.
I know pastors who held high positions of authority in their church denomination who stood by and continued to promote their young protégé even after they knew he had been accused of sexually assaulting a student under his care. This protégé was eventually convicted and imprisoned for sex crimes against children.
Even those of us who do not hold positions of leadership or authority in church organizations have an obligation to speak up about what we see. For example, when I was a professor at a Christian university, I twice reported and aggressively pursued the removal of colleagues who were preying sexually on students.
These are anecdotes. I understand that readers will have to accept my accounts or not. But these anecdotes track with many documented accounts of cover-ups and denials of abuse.
Perhaps you wonder why I don’t name these people. In cases where the stories have been made public, I’ve provided links. In cases where they are not, these are not, as I said, my stories to tell.
But the real question is why the leaders who have authority over these predators and abusers have not themselves brought about accountability. Why have so many leaders denied claims, devised schemes to protect the accused, spoken up for predators in courts of law, humiliated and degraded the victims, and protected the institutions at all costs?
Why do these Christian institutions exist at all if not to follow the example of Jesus Christ himself, who left the 99 sheep to search for the one that was lost, to care for the “least of these,” and to heal the sick and wounded?
The only answers I can come up with are not good ones.
This commentary, which was originally published by Religion News Service, does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Roys Report.
Karen Swallow Prior, Ph. D., is a reader, writer, professor, and columnist at Religion News Service. She is the author of several best-selling books. Her most recent is The Evangelical Imagination: How Stories, Images, and Metaphors Created a Culture in Crisis. She lives in Virginia.
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11 Responses
As usual the notorious KSP, PhD hits the nail on the head and brings receipts!
As a possible answer to her final question, it seems pretty obvious that many “Christian” institutions don’t actually exist to follow Christ. For these institutions, the name of Christ, the esteem of their followers and their status as “religious” organizations are not calls to higher holiness. Rather, instead they are useful shields against scrutiny and accountability for misbehavior.
Ma’am:
Thank you for your commentary. Well into my eighth decade of life, I believe that the lack of response or interest is related to the constituency network that describes most churches I have been in. People go along to get along. There’s an unwritten memo in every congregation entitled “How We Do Stuff Around Here”. No one has a copy, but everyone knows the rules, often established and monitored by unelected and unappointed “keepers of the flame”. Power typically rests in the hands of relatively few people. The benefits of being in a constituency network are found in the genuinely beneficial relational outcomes that we find in those networks. Whether acknowledged or not, however, continued access to those positive outcomes depends on our willingness to walk the line, avert our gaze, and keep our mouths shut on issues of import to those who occupy foci of power and influence. They, too, are our constituents. These same benefits are often the reason we don’t leave or speak when we do see and hear things….the cost is too high. I’ve been around long enough, though, to have concluded that the cost of speaking or leaving is often less than the cost of silence and abdication. The difference between the two options is found in who incurs the cost. If I speak or leave, I may pay the cost. If I choose silence, there is typically a cost incurred, but it is incurred by the one who would benefit from the justice and support that my engagement might bring to them. Neither choice is without cost. The difference is found in who pays. It’s about power. TNSTAAFL*
*There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
I wonder how many women (And men) have never come forward with their stories and accusations because they are afraid of being shamed and doubted? Not to mention for many the church is their life. It’s where family and friends hang out and to accuse a leader in that church of rape, molestation or harassment changes everything and will even alienate them from the life that hold so dear.
On a different note too much of the American Evangelical church has adopted a corporate model of leadership and one of their most important priorities is reputation. Many churches will fight to maintain that reputation even if it means silencing or downplaying victims.
There any many other factors but those are just two.
EXCELLENT article serving as a situational summary WITH receipts!
Have these ‘churches’ thrown the Bible out altogether?
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
Don’t Over-Spiritualize.
This is just another example of “Hard to get someone to understand when he personally benefits from NOT understanding.”
It is my opinion that we in the evangelical church conduct ourselves in a manner that dwarfs the moral corruption of the Borgias. I would point to the overwhelming support for a sexual predator and felon as the chief executive of our government as evidence. There will be multiple leaders of churches and educational institutions that will “feel the heat” at the Last Judgement (Matt 7:15-23)
“Have these ‘churches’ thrown the Bible out altogether?”
My opinion:
Only the parts that threaten their power. They are preaching a ‘grace’ principle (from a mystery gospel) that says all sin is forgiven on the cross, once we accept that on faith, we are ‘transformed’ by the holy spirit as sinless, we are forgiven in the future for any sin we commit because we are already forgiven by grace (our get out of jail free card), we are not required to hold ourselves to any of God’s commandments (except when convenient for the pastor/church), any of Christs ministry (see above), the leaders of the church will do anything to hold onto power/money/control, and we cannot bring any concerns from the congregation to church ‘authority’ under Romans 13 (newer translations).
Yet no one can understand why this keeps happening. Predators how where to hunt, and how to protect one another. Now people are scrambling to use the words of Jesus to rebuke these situations, but have sold out to another’s teachings.
…..Hear! Hear! Hoping I understand your commentary correctly, I’ll share that one of the frustrations I have with endless quotation of scripture, etc. is that these guys don’t care about that and it makes no impression on them, although we may feel good for having done it and perhaps get a “group hug” or “fist bump” of affirmation in the process. To the extent we keep carrying on about what Jesus says, we perhaps remain ineffective, since they don’t care what Jesus says/said nor do they care about what others claim He said. Nothing changes until the people financing their charade head out the door. Should that happen, our real opportunity to make a difference will be found in simply standing with the person who stepped out of the charade. They will need support at that point since they will almost certainly have become persona non grata in that community. Don’t expect such action to be cost free. You will likely be given the same label by that community that has just cast adrift the person you have chosen to support. Such a choice will be an investment upon which there will be a mixed return depending on who the return is coming from…..but, in the long run, superior to staying on the sidelines quoting scripture.
@Karen Prior, I simply do not understand this part in the article, “Perhaps you wonder why I don’t name these people. In cases where the stories have been made public, I’ve provided links. In cases where they are not, these are not, as I said, my stories to tell.”
If you cannot name names then aren’t you yourself indulging in the cover up? What did it take for the first people to name names so that the stories became public? Why will you not speak up?
If victims have not come forward and it is victims who have told her this information in confidence, she may be honoring the confidentiality of victims who have not chosen yet to expose their own selves in order to expose the predators. Peace. 🕊️🙏🏽🌹