Finding Jesus After Church Trauma

What happens when a church becomes a machine of self-promotion and branding, managed by men? Inevitably, people get crushed by the machine, says author and advocate Mary DeMuth.

In her vulnerable and prophetic talk from Restore Conference Mary shares her painful, personal journey through church bewilderment. As she explains, she and her family experienced devastating spiritual abuse, causing them to leave the church they’d served for 20+ years.

Mary begins with a jarring image from her former church—one where the pastor is literally depicted as larger than Jesus. Through this, she exposes the creeping idolatry of celebrity leadership and the dangerous culture of ego and control that masquerades as ministry.

With heartfelt honesty, Mary examines how Scripture illuminates her story, parts of which she recounted in a pódcast last year. She compares today’s abusive church leaders to the bandits in the Good Samaritan parable and corrupt shepherds in Ezekiel 34. Can we recognize the wounded among us and reject false narratives that protect institutions rather than people?

Mary also recounts the long and painful road of healing, especially for those like her, who have considered the church their surrogate family. Yet, through lament, community, and unexpected reconciliation, she testifies to God’s gentle work of restoration—and the surprising beauty He can bring from the wreckage.

If you’ve been harmed by the church—or if you’re seeking to become a better neighbor to those who have—this episode offers hope and an invitation into a healing process.