In what was called a “spiritual Wild West,” more than 550 people from 41 states and nine other nations gathered Feb. 7 for the first day of the Restore Conference, a two-day event presented by El Informe Roys (TRR) at Crossroads Nazarene Church in Chandler, Ariz. 

The event, which included a pre-conference for therapists on Feb. 6, connected people who have experienced abuse or hurt by church or religious leaders with advocates, resources and each other through presentations, panel discussions, worship and more.

The first day featured topics on navigating church trauma, understanding adult clergy sexual abuse and an overview of tactics some religious leaders use to control the masses.

“There are lots of people from lots of traditions that are going through very similar feelings and processes,” said Lisa Gray, one of more than 50 conference attendees who formerly belonged to what’s known as the “2×2 Church” or the Two by Twos, a secretive church with members throughout the U.S. and beyond. The FBI is investigating the group.

“We have a much larger community of healing than we might think we have.”

Kayleigh Clark, director of Restor(y), an organization that helps churches find healing and restoration,  liked a previous Restore Conference so much, she came back for another one.

“The church is the body of Christ, and when it is being the body of Christ, it is the most beautiful community in the world,” she said. “When it’s not, it can be the most destructive. But it is worth working for and fighting for the health of the church.”

Langberg warns of dangers, prevalence of deception

Diana Langberg, a psychologist who has worked for more than 50 years  with clients who have experienced trauma, opened the conference by speaking about the danger and prevalence of deception within others and ourselves.

She said the key to identifying deception is staying grounded in Scripture.

“It is crucial that our foundation be the study of the character of God himself,” Langberg said. “That’s the only measure we have that’s true. Without it, we cannot grasp the multitudinous ways in which we are deceptive. It is crucial also because such knowledge of the truth and obedience is the only antidote to catching the disease that rides in our hearts.”

Dr. Diane Langberg spoke today at Restore 2025, sharing her decades of wisdom on trauma, abuse, and healing in the church. Her voice has been a beacon of truth and accountability—if you were in the room, you know how powerful it was.#Restore2025 #DianeLangberg… pic.twitter.com/8YMkgN6GHe

— Julie Roys (@reachjulieroys) February 8, 2025

She also spoke against prioritizing protecting the image of a church or its leaders over listening to those who have been hurt by them. She has worked with many clients whose trauma was worsened by a church’s uncaring response.

“Jesus Christ did not die for our systems,” she said. “He died for broken human beings, andhttps://twitter.com/reachjulieroys/status/1888055845402915283 we have a roomful of them right now whom he longs to make whole so they can go out and bear his likeness.”

Langberg said early in her career a supervisor told her not to believe women who claimed they had been abused.

“(The supervisor said), ‘You contribute to their pathology if you believe them. In other words, Diane, these women are deceiving you, and you shouldn’t believe what they say,’” Langberg said.

She didn’t listen.

Author addresses bewilderment of church hurt

Author and podcaster Mary DeMuth shared about the bewilderment of church hurt, which she and her family have recently experienced after leaving a congregation they attended for more than 20 years.

At first, she thought the pain of leaving the church was like a cut, but eventually she realized it was more like a chasm that couldn’t be patched with a Band-aid. She said it’s important not to minimize the pain and trauma that can be caused by church leaders who don’t act like Christ.

“There is healing potential when we recognize the depth of the wound and stop minimizing what spiritual abuse does to the human soul,” DeMuth said.

Although it hasn’t been a quick or easy journey, DeMuth explained how she has learned to see God’s grace along the way through restored relationships and an ability to empathize with others walking a similar path.

“Limping followers are the wounded healers of this world, and limping is a superpower because we know what it’s like, and therefore we can come alongside, not as the Savior but as a representative of the one who bled and died for us, who understands us,” DeMuth said.

DeMuth compared the story of the Good Samaritan with Ezekiel 34, in which a prophet condemns shepherds who have behaved like wolves instead of protecting their flock from them. Too many pastors have behaved like the bandits who attacked and abandoned their victim or the religious leaders who observed the damage but turned a blind eye to it, she said.

Abuse survivors can take hope in knowing that Christ experienced deep pain, too, she said.

“(Jesus is) the great empathetic savior who knows what it’s like to be beaten and bruised and harmed,” she said. “He understands.”

Scholar explains impact of adult clergy sexual abuse

David Pooler, a professor at the Diana R. Garland School of Social Work at Baylor University, spoke about adult clergy sexual abuse, providing an overview of what it is, how to recognize it, how it impacts victims and how it can be addressed.

Adult clergy sexual abuse is when pastors or other religious leaders use the power of their position to exploit and sexually abuse an adult who is trusting and relying on them. Often, the abuser will use Scripture and spiritual admonitions to groom victims, who tend to be committed, biblically literate members of the church.

Pooler shared statistics from his research that showed often victims are not believed and are blamed for the abuse. They often find it difficult to find support within the church.

Pooler implored Christians to face, see, own and acknowledge the impact of adult clergy sexual abuse and take steps to address it.

“Justice is the final stage of healing, and this is where we have so much work to do,” Pooler said. “For justice to happen, we have to have leaders and institutions that can say, ‘Yes, this happened. It’s real. The injuries are profound and deep, and we’re going to make it right.’ ”

Panel explores how Phoenix became the spiritual Wild West

In the afternoon, a panel of three Phoenix-area residents spoke about why several disgraced pastors have selected the region to restart ministries and how church hurt has impacted their faith.

One was Nova Church Pastor Dustin Blatnik, who moved to the area to help Mark Driscoll plant Trinity Church after the controversial pastor left Mars Hill Church in Seattle in 2014. After he was fired from Trinity in 2021, he returned to Seattle for six months. He felt God was leading the family back to Phoenix to help other hurting families.

When asked how his family was healing from the trauma, he took the microphone to his wife, Trina, in the crowd. She said wives and families are often not consulted by churches in the chaos and said it has been helpful – but hard – to share her story.

“Bring light to the darkness, and the healing can begin,” she said.

Caleb Campbell, a pastor at Desert Springs Bible Church, shared about how his congregation has shrunk in recent years because of politics. He said the vitriol directed his way by longtime friends in the congregation led him to want to quit at times.

“It was extremely distressing and traumatizing to see just how deep these people I had trusted my soul to were giving themselves over to things I felt were directly contrary to the way of Jesus,” Campbell said.

Phoenix is young and growing compared to many other cities, Campbell said, and is still trying to establish an identity. That’s one reason he believes it’s been attractive to pastors seeking to plant churches without facing an entrenched religious establishment or accountability.

Johnna Harris, co-host of The Bodies Behind the Bus, a podcast based on interviews of spiritual abuse survivors, spoke about the importance of allowing those who have been hurt or abused to have agency over their own stories. She aims to give them an opportunity to do so through the podcast.

“It’s the same playbook over and over and over again,” she said. “The system is rotten, so we exist to shine light on that system through the stories of survivors.”

Measuring tactics against Scripture

The first day of the conference also included a presentation by Phoenix pastor Sanghoon Yoo, founder of The Faithful City, who spoke about fostering safe places for religious trauma victims; the introduction of the TRR board members and stories from two women who survived adult clergy sexual abuse. It also included brief remarks from Jonathan and Suzy Lamb, who left the Daystar broadcasting network after they alleged a child sex abuse coverup.

Lance Ford, a pastor, author and TRR board member, closed the conference with a presentation on how some church leaders attempt to silence and control people who disagree with or challenge them.

He used a tape measure to illustrate the importance of comparing the tactics used by some church leaders to control others to standards set out in Scripture. Much of it doesn’t align, he said. 

“The problems we see today are because we’re not following the master carpenter,” Ford said.

The conference will continue Saturday with a panel discussion on abuse and advocacy at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City and presentations by Scot McKnight, Melissa Hogan, Leslie Vernick and TRR founder Julie Roys.

Ann Marie Shambaugh has reported as a print journalist in multiple states, including currently in Carmel, Indiana.