Author and ministry president Lysa TerKeurst announced this weekend that her marriage is ending due to her husband’s pattern of unfaithfulness.
“As many of you know, three years ago, Art (TerKeurst) and I renewed our marriage vows after a painful separation,” Lysa TerKeurst wrote on Instagram and Facebook. “It has crushed my heart to know he has broken those vows.”
She wrote she had “fought really hard to not just save my marriage, but to survive the devastation of what consistent deception of one spouse does to the other. . . . I’ve had to learn the hard way there’s a big difference between mistakes (which we all make) and chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.”
TerKeurst, founder and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and bestselling author of 22 books, made the announcement Saturday. She and Art TerKeurst, a business owner, have been married 29 years and have five adult children.
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“I now believe the wisest (and hardest) choice I can make is to stop fighting to save my marriage . . . and, instead, accept reality,” she wrote.
She added “there is clear biblical justification for my decision to end this marriage” but she had decided to withhold details to protect her children and grandchildren “and to give space and privacy for my family and me to continue to heal.”
The news comes years after TerKeurst first revealed struggles in her marriage.
TerKeurst announced in 2017 that she had filed for divorce from her husband. At the time, she wrote he had “been repeatedly unfaithful to me with a woman he met online” and was abusing substances, CBN News previously reported. However, the couple reconciled and renewed their vows in December 2018.
“I don’t like this reality, but the truth is, relationship restoration doesn’t always work,” Lysa TerKeurst wrote this weekend. “. . . I don’t understand why circumstances sometimes go the way my story is now going. But I’m standing firm in my faith and trusting God with every step. My family and I treasure your prayers and your compassion.”
The Roys Report reached out to Proverbs 31 Ministries to find out what effect, if any, the announcement would have on its operations. TRR didn’t immediately hear back.
The nondenominational ministry for women publishes daily devotions and online Bible studies, a Bible study app and a podcast. It also provides training and hosts the annual She Speaks Conference, one of some 40 events Lysa TerKeurst speaks at each year, according to its website.
Sarah Einselen is an award-winning writer and editor based in Texas.
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26 Responses
Best wishes to Ms. TerKeurst. No reasonable person can say she didn’t try.
I am so sad for her but completely understand. We had a similar situation in our family and the adultery continued until he was no longer physically able to commit the sin. Let’s be kind and supportive to her and not question her commitment. She deserves time to heal.
Very sad to hear for her. ????
Abusing substances. Sounds like some sort of Kantian error.
she had “fought really hard to not just save my marriage, but to survive the devastation of what consistent deception of one spouse does to the other. . . . I’ve had to learn the hard way there’s a big difference between mistakes (which we all make) and chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.”
I have walked through this place. She has a long hard journey ahead of her.
I am amazed by these responses. People witness one person telling only one side of a story to a variety of media outlets and churches. Using Christ cliches and positioning oneselve as the victims throughout this. I have heard her on podcast using the victim mentality and tone to project a certain narrative. It would have been better that she dropped out of the church lime light for a while and take care of her personal business that is really intimate between her and her husband. Show me in scripture where one should spout blantantly to anyone who will listen on a ons-sided conversation? Well, on a positive note, she’ll get to see more books on her victimhood!
I’d propose the book of Hosea as a biblical narrative on victimhood, if one is needed. I’m not familiar with her situation enough to comment on the wisdom of what should or should not be made public. But attacking her character seems unwarranted.
I don’t remember anyone asking the pharisees or saducees their side of the story when Jesus strongly opposed them. All anyone knows is they were constantly trying to kill him. Who spoke up on their behalf? Is that one-sided enough for you?
Any by all means, keep adultery personal and secret because God certainly kept his divorcing Isreal secret after her many spiritual adulteries.
My guess is that Lysa is not trying to air her dirty laundry nor throw her husband under the bus, but instead feels a certain sense of responsibility to explain to the Proverbs 31 Ministries worldwide audience why she is getting divorced from Art AGAIN. I have never thought she had a “victim mentality” and I have read most of her books, listened to her teachings, and led several of her Bible studies. However, life experience has proven that in some situations, there IS one spouse that does NOT desire reconciliation and the other spouse DOES become a victim of their circumstances that are beyond their control. By sharing with women what God has taught Lysa and brought her through in her personal life, the Lord is glorified through her testimony of His faithfulness. So, Ivan needs to stop being a Judge-y Smurf, not assume that she is just trying to sell books, and show some compassion for her situation. God has used Lysa to help me learn so much more about Him as her teachings are centered on God’s Word, and I’m praying for her and her family.
Ivan S,
How about addressing the subject without using DARVO.
Jesus addresses this:
Matthew 18:15-17
King James Version
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Where has she not followed this teaching? How many years has she tried to resolve this privately?
She’s telling her story for those out there can heal and help others. God wants us to lift one another up in fellowship. Her confession has helped me with the divorce of my biological mother that was abusing me through my kids. She stopped fighting and let God handle it. She is not the victim here by no means. When you step out of a fight that lets Him do your battle for you. Smart lady and it takes time to stop fighting because you love that person. God bless
While commenters on this site may be well meaning, it’s really none of our business, Christian or not. Speculation is just that, speculation. For all we know, she could be dealing with legal issues involving his behavior. In light of the repeated pattern of behavior on his part, she really doesn’t have an option. She needs our support and consideration. She has blessed us immensely with her ministry; we should be blessing her in return. The truth is that we live in a fallen world with broken people all around. It happens. Lysa is living out a very difficult lesson before our eyes, how to move forward in the face of extreme hurt and disappointment. We need to understand this situation just for what it really is…
What’s wrong with your heart?
My prayer is that the conservative church does not judge her or others in the same situation. Churches with solid biblical preaching put the letter “u” in “suck” when it come to shepherding and cultivating grace in a fundamental setting. I pray she sees Christ as her healing Husband till He brings someone else in her life. The church has a class system. Once one has the “D” word it is the a term where people are treated as filthy lucre. She could really benefit others to understand what James 1:2-8 really means. People with this situation are a huge ministry need and vital to the growth of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ!
I think Lysa’s post shows admirable discretion. To those who find it “juicy” gossip or victim-speak, would you please to provide a direct quote to prove the charge?
Adultery breaks marriage so thoroughly that the faithful spouse is not obligated to remain in the relationship. Lysa attempted to save her marriage but she did not fail. Her husband did. And Lysa is free move to a place where she can live with dignity: “God has called us to live in peace…”
If restorations of a marriage is going on podcasts, radio shows, churches and blogs to discuss the intimacies of their marriage. Aligning yourself as a victim and pointing out the travails of the obstacles of a biblical marriage to people you do not know or to outlets that just love juicy gossip…well, at least you can sell more books and get more recognition. I love it when supposedly believers In Christ, use Christ as if this is the proper thing to do. My guess, she embarrassed him enough and now the divorce cherry is on the cake. Do I hear a little narcissism? Show me anywhere in scripture that what she communicates about her own marraige is actually biblical to the masses?
It strikes me that Matthew 18 does allow the church to announce the sins of an unrepentant member that’s being expelled, no, Ivan? It also strikes me that the Apostle Paul announces the sins of Hymeneaus and Alexander for all time 1 Timothy 1.
Do you believe she bares some responsibility for her husband’s unfaithfulness? How many have been told if they had only been a better wife or husband their spouse would not have looked elsewhere? That’s not how God speaks about adultery anywhere in the Bible. He certainly outted David for his adultery and murder. How many millions/billions are now aware of what David did? Should David have stopped being king for awhile to take care of his grievous sins? Should Nathan have been more discreet in accusing David on God’s behalf so no one would know about it?
Also, given the nature of her ministry it seems to me she’s in a position to give hope to others experiencing the same thing. Infidelity is always an individual heart issue involving open rebellion against God. That’s something that faithful spouses need to understand.
I agree with Ivan Solero. The improper use of “victim”. I do not believe that using that term to refer to oneself is Biblical. Especially with some of the prior articles and podcasts in the Roys Report.
This is a terrible term that removes responsibility and culpability. This word is not to be used for all who have fallen short of the glory of God. Being a victim slaps grace in the face. We are shallow when sinned against. Resulting in compartmentalizations our sin. I am not minimizing the pain when sinned against. God maximized the pain by poring holy wrath on His righteous Son. If I could use the term “victim” maybe for Jesus. But for those He redeemed? I cannot. I hope this lady doesn’t use this situation and platform her ministry and books. It will attract individuals for unbiblical means. Especially because my prior post reflects such need in the church.
I understand that the term “victim” now carries quite a lot of baggage and has effectively lost much of its verbal weight because everyone is a victim. What if we exchanged “victim” for “casualty: She and her family are emotional casualties of her husband’s actions. They have been harmed.
I don’t believe God’s grace is offended by making such a statement. There’s Biblical precedence for doing so in 2 Timothy 4:14 where Paul talks about the harm done to him by Alexander the coppersmith. There is little hint of God’s grace in Paul’s statement.
In Lysa’s words, I see someone who has really tried—and for a long time—to forgive and restore. But restoration needs more than one person to work. This decision was not one she arrived at easily or hastily, and it clearly comes with regret and pain. I wish her very well.
I was pulling for Lysa and Art’s marriage. I was skeptical that their reconciliation was as great as they made it seem, but then again, I’m simply a third party. I kept up with Lysa’s instagram and noticed there weren’t many pictures of Art and began to wonder. I admit I grow weary of the frilly language/pictures/stories that people like Lysa and other female Christian bloggers use but I do believe she’s sincere. Part of me wonders if they haven’t divorced until now because she’s afraid to appear as a failure to her fans/followers. I certainly believe she has a biblical basis for this divorce.
No doubt the deceit and betrayal have flattened this family more than once and I’m sorry to hear it’s continued.
Prayers for healing and insight for the entire family as they ‘accept reality’ and forge forward.
When I heard about the first infidelity/separation in a radio interview with Lysa, I was shocked – though even more shocked to realize she had already written a book about it, plus a devotional. Then they reconciled and another book came out while it still seemed fresh. The devotional on redemption came out just months ago. Lysa is an author and speaker, so perhaps writing is her way of processing, but isn’t there something to be said about taking time to consider life’s trials before drawing the rest of the world into them. I’m guarding my attitude here, knowing this is just my perspective, but I do hope Lysa will quietly ponder awhile before writing about this latest development.
” … isn’t there something to be said about taking time to consider life’s trials before drawing the rest of the world into them?”
Yes, there certainly is.
Cut and dry grounds for a divorce. Poor gal.
It’s so unfair’ Why is it that I can’t meet AMAZING women like this? A Proverbs 31 woman. You are an AMAZING woman, and may God continues to bless you and your family!!