JOIN US MAY 20-21 FOR RESTORE CONFERENCE

Mary
DeMuth

Scot
McKnight

Screenshot 2023-01-13 at 1.50.18 PM

Naghmeh
Panahi

Reporting the Truth.
Restoring the Church.

Opinion: When Gossip is Not

By Barry York
gossip

In recent months, I have had several people speak with me about situations going on around them. Each of these parties were godly Christians seeking counsel about difficult matters involving others.

Each time, they would pause and say something like “I don’t mean to gossip” or “I hope this isn’t gossip.” Clearly, they were struggling with matters of conscience regarding whether speaking of others constituted gossip.

As cultivating interpersonal relationships, dealing with sin and conflict, raising children, avoiding folly, shepherding God’s people, discerning false teaching, etc., are all vital parts of life in the church, Christians must talk with and about others. I find many sensitive believers struggle to open up because they wrongly believe to do so would be to gossip. Sadly, then, the above needs are not met properly.

So when is gossip not? I studied over the answer to question 144 in the Westminster Larger Catechism (WLC) : “What are the duties required in the ninth commandment?” regarding not bearing false witness. Here are five guidelines distilled from that meditative exercise.

*The Westminster Larger Catechism is a summary of the doctrine of many Calvinist denominations, including the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A) and the Presbyterian Church in America.

Your tax-deductible gift helps our journalists report the truth and hold Christian leaders and organizations accountable. Give a gift of $30 or more to The Roys Report this month, and you will receive a copy of “Even If He Doesn’t: What We Believe about God When Life Doesn’t Make Sense” by Kristen LaValley. To donate, click here.

It is not gossip when…

The matter is public record. I have seen people hesitate to convey information that is recorded in civil or ecclesiastical documents as a matter of public information. Here I speak of such matters as public news items in the local paper, a published article available in print or on the internet, divorce records in a civil court, or public disciplinary sanctions taken by the church. I know of situations where someone has been accused of not following the principles of Matthew 18 in speaking to a person privately when the issue at hand is already known over social media or in print. This situation is not gossip.

You are seeking counsel about a matter. If true Christian concern for a brother or sister causes you to discreetly seek counsel about how to handle a matter with them, this is not gossip. Sharing information about a person with another becomes gossip when it’s done for the pleasure of revealing juicy news with no true concern for the individual or having ill intent to harm the reputation of someone else. Legitimately asking someone more mature and wiser in the Lord than you about how to handle a dicey matter is not gossip – it is actually love.

Justice is at stake. If you are called by a civil or ecclesiastical court to give testimony about a situation, then it is not gossip to reveal the truth under oath as it pertains to the case regardless of how “private” some may claim the information is. The traditional oath in court is “I swear that the evidence that I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.” To do less is to swear a false oath, which is an affront to the Lord.

You are protecting your neighbor’s good name. Simply speaking about the affairs of others does not constitute gossip. We may actually be countering gossip by “preserving and promoting of truth between man and man, and the good name of our neighbor” (as it says in WLC 144) by speaking about someone else. If someone is speaking about a brother or sister in Christ and “does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor” (Ps. 15:3), then that person is not gossiping.

You are a whistleblower against evil. Over the past few months, I have listened to “The Roys Report” podcast, where investigative journalist Julie Roys shines a light on abuse in the church. She regularly mentions or reads letters from detractors who accuse of her being “unchristian” because she highlights those who are abusing their position in the church for their own ends. However, as the WLC 144 tells us, part of our responsibility as believers is in “discouraging talebearers, flatterers, and slanderers.” So calling out those who are wolves in sheep’s clothing is not gossip, but actually an honorable calling in Christ.

As believers, in this current climate we need to pray and resolve to follow the words of the Spirit in our discussion of others. May the Lord bless us and keep us in Him.

This article was originally published by Gentle Reformation and is republished here with permission.

Dr. Barry York is President and Professor of Pastoral Theology and Homiletics at Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary. He’s also served as a church planter and pastor for Sycamore Reformed Presbyterian Church in Kokomo, Indiana. He writes regularly for the blog Gentle Reformation, is the General Editor of the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Journal, and podcasts regularly on 3GT (Three Guys Theologizing). He is author of Hitting the Marks: Restoring the Essential Identity of the Church.

SHARE THIS:

GET EMAIL UPDATES!

Keep in touch with Julie and get updates in your inbox!

Don’t worry we won’t spam you.

More to explore
discussion

6 Responses

  1. How about as a definition of gossip: If you use the word “alleged” when describing an event or action, it’s gossip.

  2. Sadly, many are more concerned about protecting the abuser from gossip than protecting the victims from abuse. Those are some skewed priorities, to be sure!

  3. Part of the test for ‘gossip’ is what do you want out of divulging this information? If the true objective is not wholesome, then you are probably gossiping.

  4. I would say that 90% of conversations between congregants before church service begins and after church service ends is gossip.

    But Christians call it “fellowship” and “sharing”.

  5. gossip is IDLE chatter, when there is no edifying purpose… when there is no intention to do anything about the concern…

    it’s NOT gossip if trying to prevent abuse from happening to others, it’s NOT gossip if it is warning others about someone’s predatory behavior, it’s NOT gossip when holding someone publicly accountable when that someone’s influence is public…

Leave a Reply

The Roys Report seeks to foster thoughtful and respectful dialogue. Toward that end, the site requires that people register before they begin commenting. This means no anonymous comments will be allowed. Also, any comments with profanity, name-calling, and/or a nasty tone will be deleted.
 
MOST RECENT Articles
MOST popular articles
en_USEnglish

Donate

Hi. We see this is the third article this month you’ve found worth reading. Great! Would you consider making a tax-deductible donation to help our journalists continue to report the truth and restore the church?

Your tax-deductible gift helps our journalists report the truth and hold Christian leaders and organizations accountable. Give a gift of $30 or more to The Roys Report this month, and you will receive a copy of “The Atlas Factor: Shifting Leadership Onto the Shoulders of Jesus” by Lance Ford.