Re-Kindling First Love

By Julie Roys


            Worship has always been like a spiritual portal to me.  As a kid, I often felt indifferent towards God. I believed in Him, respected Him, and knew He was good.  But, I struggled to love Him.  That all changed my senior year of high school. That’s when I met a couple of ‘70s-hippies-turned-Jesus-freaks who introduced me to worship and an intimacy with God I had never even imagined possible.  I remember crowding into this couple’s small apartment and spending entire evenings worshipping and praying and basking in God’s presence.  It was then I decided to pick up guitar.  I wanted to worship God anytime and anyplace – and an instrument helped me do that.

            Through college and my early twenties, I continued playing guitar, primarily  for myself.   Then, when my husband and I began directing a youth ministry, I was kind of forced to lead worship because no one else would.  Before long, I was leading worship in church and writing songs – and doing way more with my admittedly meager musical skills than I ever imagined.  But, then that season passed.  We transitioned out of youth ministry; our kids became teenagers; I took a job; and sadly, my guitar collected dust.  That is, until this past weekend.

        This weekend, I climbed into storage and retrieved an old friend – my guitar.  The strings had become discolored and I couldn’t find a pick or tuner in the case.  But, I tuned it up best I could and began finger-picking a few worship songs.  Immediately, something awakened in my soul.  And, for the next hour, though my uncallused fingers protested, I had a sweet time of communion with God.

            You see, I realized that playing guitar and worshipping Jesus rekindles my love for Him. And, like God instructs the church that’s lost its first love to do, I, too, needed to “repent and do the things (I) did at first.”   What is it that you first did when you came to Jesus?  Listen to Christian music?  Attend Bible study?  Take long, solitary walks?   Those things are gifts from God and should never be put in storage to collect dust.  Today, make time for those things and rekindle your love.

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2 thoughts on “Re-Kindling First Love”

  1. Wonderful post, Jules. When I have my iPod on shuffle, it always makes me smile when your songs play. If it makes me smile, I can’t even imagine how much it makes the Lord smile to hear you sing to/about Him.

    I am, and always have been, somewhat of a solitary creature. Because of that, often I can freely talk out loud to the Lord. It is something I have done as long as I can remember (I accepted Christ at age five). I think He must think I’m crazy, but it is a habit that keeps me connected. :-)

  2. Glad to hear they make you smile. Ya, I think sometimes (maybe because I’m in a public position?)I can forget I’m really playing for an audience of One. God is so good to remind me of that and bring me back into sweet intimacy with Him.

    I talk out loud to God too! We’re so weird. :) That’s the only way I can survive my commutes into Chicago.

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