Over the last 13 years, John and Carol D’Attoma have helped hundreds of families dealing with child sexual abuse. The couple runs a nonprofit called Sexually Abused Children’s Relief Endeavor, or SACRED, to provide emergency funds through child advocacy centers for families trying to escape abusers.

The couple also has experienced the pain of sexual abuse in their own family. In 2006, their 6-year-old granddaughter revealed her father was sexually abusing her. The abuser went to prison, but John D’Attoma’s daughter was forced to sell the family’s house and car and move her young children elsewhere. The couple created SACRED to help deal with the pain they felt.

Recently, however, the couple discovered a member of their own family was accused of sexually abusing underage girls. As reported previously in TRR, Michael D’Attoma, a former Southern Baptist youth pastor, has been accused of sexually abusing teen girls in lawsuits filed recently by two anonymous women.

Michael D’Attoma is John D’Attoma’s son from a previous marriage. Carol says the allegations hit her and her husband like “a slap in the face” and “reopened our wounds.”

“(Michael) knew what his sister had gone through, you know, years ago,” Carol said. So, the revelation “absolutely crushed her. It made her relive everything she went through.”

Michael D’Attoma, who has not been criminally charged, has denied the alleged abuse in court filings. His attorney, Erin Dean, has said she could not comment on pending litigation.

But John and Carol say they believe the victims and “stand behind the young women that have now filed (suit), completely.”

Carol could not recall any cases SACRED had assisted that involved clergy abuse, but she compared it to abuse by other authority figures, like doctors or attorneys.

“Anyone that’s in a position of power, you need to always know that they, too, could be an abuser,” Carol D’Attoma said. “The ones you trust the most are the ones you truly you need to be more cautious of. And that includes clergy.”

Girl says she ‘felt powerless’

In the first of the lawsuits against Michael D’Attoma, the alleged victim, now 29, claims D’Attoma was grooming youth group members “into predatory and sexual relationships” while he was the youth pastor at Northside Baptist Church in South Carolina.

The woman says in her lawsuit that in 2010, when she was 16, she noticed Michael D’Attoma hugging a girl in the youth group inappropriately. She told some leaders about it, her lawsuit states, but her concerns were “met with little interest.”

D’Attoma then reportedly began texting the girl constantly and spending time alone with her at youth group events. He initiated video chats and sent revealing picture messages to the girl, asking for similar photos in return, the lawsuit states.

D’Attoma’s behavior eventually escalated to hugging and groping the teen, the suit alleges, and the girl “simply felt powerless” to stop it. The lawsuit claims he also described sexual acts he wanted to do to the girl and “became extremely angry” when she asked him to stop the explicit sexual conversations.

In another lawsuit, a woman alleges Michael D’Attoma groomed her into sexting him starting in 2010, when she was just 14.

The woman alleges in the suit that Michael D’Attoma made her Skype with him late into the night, convincing her to remove her clothes and “masturbating to (her) naked, 15-year-old body.” The suit states he groped the teen when they were alone at the church, but forced her to dress modestly in public.

Michael D’Attoma continued these sexually inappropriate interactions until fall 2012, the suit states.

The opposite of who we are

Carol D’Attoma said she and her husband were shocked by the allegations against Michael because “it reflected the complete opposite of who we all are.”

The allegations have devastated the D’Attoma family. Michael D’Attoma’s wife also lost her job at the church where both had worked most recently, Carol D’Attoma said. “She lost all the relationships she made at the church,” Carol added.

Michael D’Attoma’s wife and their two children had to live with the wife’s parents for a time, Carol D’Attoma said. The couple has since divorced.

Carol and John D’Attoma are “in complete support” of their daughter-in-law, Carol said.

“Findings are proven that when people report sexual abuse, especially when they’ve been children, they don’t lie,” Carol D’Attoma explained. “It just happened. It’s the truth.”

SBC files response in court

In addition to suing Michael D’Attoma, the women’s lawsuits also name the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) and Northside Baptist as defendants. The suits claim the SBC is responsible for the abuse because it created an environment where abuse was permitted.

The SBC recently filed to have one of the lawsuits dismissed because it claims the convention should not be held responsible for anything D’Attoma did. It has not responded in court yet to the second lawsuit.

Editor’s note: This article has been updated.

Sarah Einselen is an award-winning writer and editor based in Texas.